A Sudden Rush of Impending Doom..

It seems to happen every break... where you're fooled by an impossibly glorious span of 3 week vacation time. Somehow time bends and folds and slowly creeps forward while simultaneously springing to an end faster than i can bat my eyelashes (which probably isn't that impressive since i can't bat them at all really...) I can't even really remember what it was that I did either.. though I must have done something because here we are and it's already Jan 3..

But I digress.

As I was saying, all of a sudden it's back to school in less than 48 hours and I'm starting to freak out just a little bit. Naturally at the beginning of break I felt I had an infinite amount of time to look for jobs, to work on CN, to sew teko and hapi... Of all that, I think i accomplished about 30% of what I had wanted to... epic fail x200. My efforts at looking for a job were depressing and pretty much spirit crushing. CN has been put on hold, and I've sewn so much I just want to drop kick my fucking sewing machine out the window. Whoever designed hapi coats needs to burn in hell; Cand, I completely forgot how awful it was to sew all that nonsense. UGH.

In a few days, I will be back at UCLA, and I will be near crushed to death with the weight of everything that I decided to take on for this year. Sometimes I wonder why I always try to do so much. I know I'll be able to do it, but I can't help but think I might be masochistic in a way. Honestly. CN and New Staff. Job Hunting (EVIL!) Graduating... DAHHH ....... and.... ..... errr.... SO i completely lost track of the whole point of this post, but I guess the main idea is that I'm losing the intoxicating happiness associated with the holidays and finally coming back down to earth, only to realize everything is probably going to implode in T-minus 48 hours.

Splendid.


PS. Cand I have been watching dramas non-stop all break. I LOVE COFFEE PRINCE!!! :D and Hana Yori Dango.
PSS. Megan I read that whole Twilight series (I am embarassed and hang my head in shame)... but I sort of liked it. o_O Cand, you like dramas, I think you should read them too!

confused

some how, months and months later you still confuse me.

no not you... you. i'm pretty sure you have no idea what you did to me... i can barely comprehend it myself. but somewhere, deep in my heart and in my head, you dance just out of my reach, frustrating me.

やめて。。やめてください。

いつか？

TRL?!?!?!

omg TRL is over!? end of an era.

asanine is such a good word

idk why i thought about it randomly... i don't even have a comment, as in "did you hear so and so say ____? What an asanine thing to say." hahaha i just think its amusing =]

on an up note to an otherwise abysmal sort of emotional sewer, i had a really good past few days. Monday was the most amazing day at work that I've had in absolute ages (omg leftovers and a 15 minit close. AMAZING. truly.) and then i had a sleepover with karen =] and of course a day off and shopping with steph! and heartening late night conversations with friends restored my dwindling faith in my self-confidence.

i feel good right now. and i'm glad. because i have been feeling shitty. hooray!

(OH YEAH! and i got the HSM3 SOUNDTRACK!!! :3 its so cheerful and it makes me happy) the end.

Change.

It is coming, it is here. And I am ready. =]

I'm so proud to have been a part of this, so proud to have been able to express my opinion, and so proud to have been able to speak my mind. I applaud McCain for a very gracious speech, and I am so excited for what is to come.

Here's to you, Mr. President, Mr. Barrack Obama.

:D

If somebody asked you to say who you were, what would you say?

Identity and Me.

Things I Like: Friends, food, seeing family, playing taiko, dancing, having fun

Things I dislike: People who lack common sense. People who are lazy or stuck up or elitist bastards. Oh yeah, and scary movies and caterpillars.

What makes me happy? Friends, singing in the car at the top of your lungs, bright colors, seeing old friends.

What makes me angry? Ignorant people... just see dislikes.

Who am I? I am a girl. A 21 year old Chinese-American who is immersed in the Japanese-American community. I am a good friend and a leader. And also a little bit of a control freak. I am a romantic, I love Disney movies and Disneyland. I am silly.

--

This was an exercise we ran in New Staff today (courtesy of Liz!) and I really enjoyed it. We talked about core values, and my top five were (in alphabetical order) Family, Friendship, Hardwork, Loyalty and Trust. It makes me laugh when Karen and I joked how values like Peace and Tolerance got left behind things like Competence and Creativity in my rankings. We were also told to illustrate ourselves and how these top 5 values fit us and why.



Hardwork (sweatband): I am a firm believer in working hard, whether its sweating at KCH (and heaven knows I do that almost every day it seems) slaving away over homework and studying, or working to make the things I care about better. I love the feeling of satisfaction and achievement, and I love the passion that drives it.

Friendship (arms): Made for hugging, I believe that friends are always there to support you through thick and thin. To laugh with you when you have great times (like running into a screen door) or to sit with you while you cry until your heart breaks.

Family (heart): home is where the heart is... it gives me the warm and fuzzies, and i appreciate my family and all they have done for me the older i get. They love me no matter what, and always push me to do my best.

Trust (ground): The foundation to any relationship; stability. Before you achieve any other elements, you need a strong basis and something to keep you rooted and steady.

Loyalty (head): Unquestionable. Unswerving. Steadfast and consistent. Whenever somebody betrays my loyalty it cuts me so deep I can hardly bear it. Easy to gain, but twice as easy to lose.

Enjoy my drawing. =]

my inner demons

So many changes have been happening in my life recently. Its been hard adjusting, and I feel like I'm being swept away down a fast moving stream, and I can barely get a foot hold and take charge of certain aspects of my life.

I feel like I am keeping myself busy, and just relaxing and enjoying myself, but at the same time I still feel lonely. Things are changing, and that's ok, and its for the best... but I guess nothing could have ever prepared me mentally for the repercussions I would feel.

I know I'm strong, and that I'll be ok in the end, but knowing that doesn't really change the way I feel or make it any easier. It's just a difficult upward climb that I have to get through.